Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize