we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
