So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
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