we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
