Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
