He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
