Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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