how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
