Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize