Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
