coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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