if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
