my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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