i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
