Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
