I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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