this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize