dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
