It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
