If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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