Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
