im six kinds of drunk right now
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
