I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
