You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
