For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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