Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
