Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
