Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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