yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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