don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
