I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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