I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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