I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
