New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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