after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
