Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize