Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
