yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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