But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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