At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
