i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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