she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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