Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
