Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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