this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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