apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
