Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
