Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
