I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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