I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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