We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
not ubering you a puppy
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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