drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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