this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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