I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
