the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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