Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
