Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
