Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
