It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
