I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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