She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
