Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
