My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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