I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
